That’s me, standing in the wheat field, with my arms raised, warm sun in my face…I feel free, and happy, and joyful and at peace.
Ok, so obviously that’s not me…never once has my life looked like this (even growing up on a farm ;)).
But as I search for a way to describe how I feel right now, this would be it.
I feel happy, and at peace and like things are under control (this is my favorite feeling, not in a control freak kind of way, in a “I don’t have a list of 20 other things I should be doing right now” way)
…in fact, I have no other things that I should or need to be doing right now…and that is awesome.
As I sit here right now things are not perfect, but they are peaceful.
I think one of the biggest lies of our culture is that we just need to expect that life is crazy when we have kids. It’s busy, and chaotic, and that’s just how it goes. Your house and your van and your calendar will reflect it. But, soon they’ll get older and move out and then you’ll be sad, so cherish every moment of the chaos while you still can.
However, it isn’t until now, looking back that I can say “hang on!” Maybe I don’t have to try and “cherish” the chaos.
Maybe it is possible to have four kids AND a clean house. Maybe to-do lists actually can be completed. Maybe I don’t have to always have that nagging feeling that I’m forgetting to do something. And maybe I don’t have to feel guilty about an unproductive Saturday afternoon to myself.
It is an interesting parallel that as we’ve removed more and more physical things from our house there is less and less stress. Things feel manageable. Tasks get done. Our house stays clean. And the kids are still just being kids.
And this is what makes this past year of paring down a worthwhile journey for me. It was a lot of work…but having a peaceful home makes every difficult “should we keep it or get rid of it” decision, every trip to Goodwill, every Saturday nap time spent sorting stuff, every bit of it, worth it.